ugly people sure do ruin things
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize