Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
