is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
