thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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