i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
