No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
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He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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