theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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