The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
