He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
