mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
