Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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