That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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