No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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