Moan for me like Helen Keller
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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