she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
