Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
