3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
