I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
