he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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