I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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