but the lizard people decide everything anyway
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
