ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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