I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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