I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
