my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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