I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
