they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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