Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
