I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
