omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
