Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
