He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
