Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
