you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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