Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
