i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize