i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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