I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
