And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
