Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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