Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize