Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
operation have a gay friend backfired
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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