I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
