This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
