Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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