Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
