is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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