the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
