When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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