I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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