Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Farmville is her only friend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
