she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
