Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
