gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
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I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
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She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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