I think my fart just growled at me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
