Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
