I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
